Relationship crises are one of the main headaches that appear in many people’s love lives . Part of what makes them so harmful is that, although sometimes their cause is clear, it is also common for them to appear without further ado, in the total absence of a specific reason.

Sometimes, it seems that the simple passage of time is what makes the quality of relationships deteriorate, but the truth is that time alone neither strengthens nor weakens anything. In order to understand what couple’s crises are and how we can deal with them, we must know well what are those relational dynamics of the day to day that feed them. Detecting the signs of this type of love crisis is crucial to react as soon as possible.

The Signs of Relationship Crisis

Below we will see several signs of couple’s crisis that alert about the bad health of the affective relationship.

These situations do not always end in a break-up , but it is advisable not to let them go and open up new channels of communication and even go to couples therapy if necessary.

1. You feel guilty about your partner’s delusion

This is one of the most subtle symptoms of relationship crisis, since it is not something that arises in relationships, but rather does so in the mind of one of the people in the relationship. Fundamentally, it is an indicator that we perceive something that makes us feel bad about ourselves: that if we are for that person it is simply because of inertia and fear of ending the relationship.

Paradoxically, is one of the most silent signs of couple’s crisis, but at the same time its effects are very deep . Making the situation better is very complicated, because at this point the problem is not so much that one person’s way of expressing love does not fit well with the other, nor does it have to do with incompatible habits; here, the problem is that the decision has already been made that the relationship is a waste of time.

2. You bet everything on the future

There are times when it becomes apparent that there is some friction in the relationship: the simple fact of living together makes it very easy to end up arguing, and some of these quarrels can end up becoming chronic .

Faced with this scenario, many people who go through a couple’s crisis adopt a totally passive attitude, partly because they see the problem as very complicated to deal with. Therefore, something very common is to make see that the simple passage of time will fix it. The idea behind this strategy sounds more or less like this: “let’s keep investing time, money and effort in the relationship, and these kinds of sacrifices will make it right on its own”.

Of course, this is a totally wrong strategy that only leads to frustrations and the creation of distorted expectations. It is important to put a stop to this way of thinking.

3. Trust is lost

If you go back to the early days of your relationships, you probably realize that both you and your partner were capable of confiding in each other untold secrets. You explained to each other how you felt at each moment, your past sorrows and your future desires. You were a perfect match, emotionally supporting each other in a special and unique way.

If the relationship deteriorates and there is a relationship crisis, this ability to communicate “heart to heart” may be affected . A phase begins in which there are more and more misgivings about opening up to each other. This can be caused by small arguments. The wounds of distrust are difficult to heal, although not impossible… but they require time and effort from both partners.

4. You stop carrying out activities in common

Relationships are, fundamentally, that set of shared moments in which affection and intimacy are expressed. If the quantity of these moments diminishes, the quality of the relationship also diminishes.

Just because we’ve been through a lot together in the past doesn’t make the love relationship last. It is necessary to continue updating this accumulation of sensations and shared emotions through the new things that are being lived as a couple.

5. Distrust and jealousy appear

Where there is jealousy, there are vulnerable points . Loving relationships are based on trust, among other things, and that is why, however much they may have been normalised over the years, jealousy is not a problem. In the end, a courtship or marriage that is sustained only by constant vigilance and paranoia is in any case an imitation of a love bond, but not a story worth living with positivity and constructive encouragement.

6. Sexual encounters are becoming less frequent

It is not a symptom that should necessarily appear when we talk about a couple’s crisis… but it is more common for people who have lost their passion and magic to come to couples’ therapy sessions .

Why does this happen? During the infatuation phase, hormones are out of control and sex is frequent and of high quality. In more advanced stages of the relationship, routine, stress or monotony can affect the quality and quantity of sex we practice… leading the situation to a vicious circle in which the intimacy of the couple is lost, so that one can start thinking about a spiral of distance and scarce affective bond.

7. Empathy is lost

It is one of the last stages: when both members of the couple (or at least one of them) is not able to put himself in the skin of the other, it is possible that the commitment and the illusion are broken for good .

If there is one thing on which emotional relationships are based, it is an understanding of the weaknesses and needs of the other. When this ceases to exist, it is very difficult for a couple to endure, since the relationship of trust and emotional support ceases to exist. Restoring harmony and healthy attachment between both partners is the challenge facing many couples who, despite the problems, wish to continue to share their lives. At other times, distance and separation will be the opportunity to start over again.