Do you know any person with a tendency towards self-destruction?

From clinical psychology, individuals with a self-destructive personality share a number of behavioral characteristics. These are behaviors that go against their interests, are counterproductive to their well-being, and cause physical and psychological harm to themselves.

Who suffers from this type of self-destructive personality?

The personality traits of self-destructive individuals often appear in adulthood, and can be the effect of a wide variety of contextual, psychological and biological factors .

These people often shy away from all the positive and pleasant experiences life has to offer. This leads to chaotic situations and interpersonal relationships where there is often suffering. In addition, they are often closed and do not accept help from those close to them.

Diagnosis (warning signs and symptoms)

Several diagnostic manuals point out the main characteristics shared by people who tend towards self-destructive behaviours and habits.

If the person presents at least five of the five diagnostic criteria , we can speak of a person with a tendency towards self-destruction.

  • It tends to relate to people and develop in contexts where disappointments and disappointments are likely to occur. He/she may even tend to be abused by other people, even though he/she may choose to relate in healthier environments.
  • Does not let other people help or advise him .
  • If they achieve some significant improvement in their life (e.g. a good job or other positive achievement) they react with depression, feelings of guilt or self-injurious behaviour.
  • He provokes others until they are angry with him and then he feels humiliated and offended.
  • Doesn’t accept to get involved in pleasant activities , or if he does he doesn’t like to acknowledge that he has fun (even if he has enough social skills).
  • Does not manage to carry out the tasks and commitments necessary to achieve his/her academic or professional objectives , even though he/she has the capacity to do so. Can help others to improve, but are unable to apply the necessary knowledge and attitude to their own life.
  • He does not accept that others are interested in his welfare .
  • Is too prone to self-sacrifice to help other people.
  • He holds on and does not rebel against the psychological, physical or sexual abuse that others inflict on him.
  • The behaviors described do not only take place when the individual is depressed or in particularly harsh circumstances.

Understanding the behavior of these people

It’s hard to understand why self-destructive people don’t let others help them out of their situation. How do you explain the fact that they have very undesirable habits that will eventually cause them problems?

Usually, we’re all looking to make our lives better. We seek to feel comfortable and loved, we are motivated to seek greater well-being and positive experiences for our lives. However, self-destructive behaviour breaks with this general tendency, and this is something that concerns mental health professionals .

Genesis: low self-esteem

Self-destructive behaviors are often manifestations of various emotional conflicts and underlying disorders. Primarily, low self-esteem is the most frequently cited cause, in addition to resentment towards oneself.

The community of mental health professionals usually agrees in pointing out that this type of self-injurious behaviour can be an adaptive mechanism when faced with situations and contexts of great cognitive and emotional demand . For example, stress, anxiety, work pressure and other factors could be the necessary (but not sufficient) basis for a person to react in a self-destructive way.

However, other professionals point out that people with this type of behavior could be prisoners of their comfort zone, because of their low self-esteem, stigmas of indignity or poor self-confidence.

Typical habits and behaviors of self-destructive people

Self-destructive behavior can take on different manifestations, some more severe, others less worrying.

In total, we can list up to 15 frequent behaviors and habits .

1. Negative thoughts

Recurring negative thoughts can be the foundation for self-destructive behavior. When these people focus on the bad things that could happen, they become obsessed and it is much more likely that these fatalities will materialize in reality. Examples of these thoughts are: “I’m sure I’m going to fail,” “I won’t come out of this one,” and so on.

2. Inability to cope

This is a passive manifestation, but it is one of the keys to understanding a self-destructive person. Psychologically balanced people are able to take action when they are living in a negative situation. On the other hand , individuals with this problem do nothing to avoid pain , which makes them feel increasingly useless and immersed in a spiral of inaction.

3. Eating disorders

Eating too much can be a self-destructive behavior with terrible effects in the medium and long term . It can also be the opposite: eating too little, which is also associated with a bad self-image.

4. Constant problems with other people

They often have conflicts with other people . As you would expect, these conflicts turn out to be against them. This can cause them to be rejected, isolated, and to suffer humiliation and other problems related to the absence of social relationships.

5. Little confidence in their abilities

These people perceive themselves as unintelligent and do not believe in their possibilities of achieving important things . This low perception about one’s own abilities can be the prelude to inactivity, and can bury any work or academic project.

6. Self-harm

Violating physical injury is a sign that the person has significant problems and is clearly self-destructive behavior. It is one of the most dangerous and its ultimate and irreversible expression is suicide.

7. Self-indulgence: “everything goes wrong for me”

Another characteristic feature is self-pity . It provides them with a certain unconscious comfort because the self-pitying thoughts help them to stay still, recreating their misfortunes. This prevents them from taking control of their lives and getting out of the negative spiral.

8. Drug addiction

Another classic feature is the abuse of toxic substances, such as alcohol or other drugs. It is a behavior that not only affects the physical and mental health of the affected person, but also breaks down the relationship with family and friends.

9. Isolation (deliberate)

Deliberately (though sometimes not entirely consciously), self-destructive people withdraw from their friends and colleagues . They achieve this through a series of annoying and antisocial behaviours that irritate their close ones, to the point that they are excluded from social groups.

10. Do not express their emotions

They often hide their feelings . This tendency to suppress negative and even positive emotions can lead to different manifestations of mental and emotional problems and also psychosomatic disorders.

11. Refuse to be helped

These are people who do not allow themselves to be helped by family members , friends or mental health professionals.

12. Over-sacrifice

Have you heard of Wendy’s syndrome? It’s a common set of symptoms among people who focus too much on meeting the needs of other individuals, neglecting their own well-being. It is self-destructive behavior because, under the label of altruistic behavior, they are capable of denying their own freedom and losing their way to happiness.

13. Uncontrolled expenditure

Slot machines, shopping addiction or gambling can lead to uncontrolled spending that tells us that a person is not emotionally or psychologically balanced. This is a fairly common self-destructive behavior.

14. Lack of physical and mental care

They may spend long periods of time abandoning themselves physically and mentally : they sleep little, feed themselves negligently, do not practice physical activity, hardly ever shower… these are very typical signs among people with a tendency to self-destruction. They also do not pay attention to certain psychological problems they may be suffering from.

15. Jealous, possessive…

They are not able to properly care for their relationships . They show behaviours of jealousy, possessiveness, emotional blackmail and even violence. Obviously, couples end up leaving them.

Concluding

Self-destructive people express different behaviors that, consciously or unconsciously, destroy their physical and emotional health. Their path to happiness and success is cut short by these kinds of attitudes.

Fortunately, this type of psychological picture can be treated by mental health professionals , who can promote therapies and actions aimed at improving your quality of life and solving this type of internal conflict.