You don’t have to wait for a crisis to go to a professional . If we notice that our love relationship is gradually deteriorating, perhaps, when the summer months arrive we should consider whether we can, want to or should dedicate our days off to couples’ therapy.

It is known that living together can produce wear and tear, especially if one arrives at the holiday destination with accumulated stress from work and with certain internal tensions in the relationship. Everything can increase with the presence of small children, who require care, dedication and who need the days we spend with them to be at the maximum of our capacity. These are days to be with the family and we are also weighed down by the expectation of a happy and supportive environment.

With these handicaps, who else could choke on summer? That divorces increase in September is true, but this does not happen by chance but because the members of the couple have been distant for a while, one or both of the parties are not satisfied with the situation of the couple and those days can be the stimulus to take the step. Therefore, before leaving for the beach, the mountains or embarking on a long tourist trip abroad, it is advisable to sit down and address the stress factors that may arise during the family days.

Preventing divorces in September with couples’ therapy

Coexistence and emotional well-being depend largely on how one chooses to deal with the obstacles that arise. It is not that traveling or not traveling will change the situation or eliminate conflicts. Going on holiday when there is a conflict has its risks, but if the couple are able to discuss how they will cope with the trip, negotiating and setting limits, they can enjoy the holiday. However, this is not the solution to the present difficulties.

This solution involves attending couples’ therapy sessions, a process of strengthening the love bond that can also be counted on during the summer season, if one chooses to stop travelling. The leisure time we have during this season is a very good opportunity to have the help of a neutral professional and solve the bad situation we are going through.

Why is going to a professional in couples therapy during the summer a good option? You have to take into account that in the case of short holidays, we are often not able to disconnect and enjoy ourselves, because it takes us about 4 days to adapt to those new habits separated from the routine.

In those first days visiting tourist attractions or sunbathing on the beach, the previous stress can become a real obstacle when trying to really immerse yourself in the vacation; we worry about not being aware of work, not looking at the mail or not receiving calls. We maintain a state of alert that prevents us from paying attention to the present moment and to our partner . And this can generate a lot of frustration and arguments, if there were already previous conflicts.

Another reason why it is advisable to go to couples therapy during the holiday season, perhaps the most important one, is the fact that in summer we have more free time to go to therapy; time that we can invest in working with the psychological tools that are capable of advancing our love relationship .

These tools contribute to:

  • To create spaces of communication and empathic connection that allow both members of the couple to express themselves freely and reach agreements that benefit everyone.
  • Reinforce the bond that keeps the couple together emotionally, communicatively and together.
  • Keep a good schedule management in which there are times for the couple, for friends, for hobbies, etc.
  • Knowing how to exteriorize the emotions and give them to the person who is with us clearly.
  • Know how to manage all kinds of conflicts that are common in the daily life of the couple, and make the discussions based on the constructive.

It is very important that both of you are convinced of the importance of seeing a neutral therapist , otherwise the company will fail.

What role does the professional play in the process?

The role of the professional is one of non-interference, of neutrality. Normally, psychologists take the most effective measures to ensure that both members of the relationship learn the following skills :

  • Communication skills and assertiveness techniques
  • Willingness to plan stimulating and interesting activities for both.
  • Communication skills and reaching agreements to distribute household tasks.
  • To be able to see the positive aspects and potential of the other.

To improve the coexistence in vacations…

If you finally decide to go on holiday, take note of these tips, which will help you to eliminate tensions and improve coexistence :

  • Learn to make time for enjoyable activities as a couple, and not necessarily only during the weekends.
  • Respect the fact that every member of the couple needs time to be alone or to pursue their particular hobbies.
  • Getting used to expressing positive evaluations about the other, and not only focused on the image but also on their actions and achievements.
  • To get involved in active listening, showing interest and involvement in what the other has to say.
  • In the discussions and conflicts that sometimes arise with the loved one, avoid getting defensive and be interested in the other’s perspective in order to reach solutions and agreements.

The opposite of what is expected can always happen, but, in this case, for the better. We can fall in love with our partner again, breaking the routine and regaining the passion. In summer the sexual desire increases and certain exotic environments, together with the novelty of change, can help us to recover the illusion.