It is common to think that the
resilience is something similar to an innate capacity , a faculty that is born spontaneously in some people who have to face adverse situations.

However, resilience is not a trait of the person born with it, nor is it part of the person’s typical temperament . It is a process in which the individual enters into a dynamic of interactions with others and with the environment in such a way that he or she is able to overcome adversities.

In other words, psychological resilience is not something you have, but something you develop and learn to maintain.

That is why one of the pillars of resilience is found directly in the habits of the person who manages to develop it. These characteristic habits of people trained in resilience can be as varied and flexible as there are ways of living life, but roughly ten can be named that are applicable to most cases.

People trained in resilience

What do these people have in common?

1. Take measures to improve their self-esteem

They are able to recognize that the actions they take today will change the way they perceive themselves tomorrow. Therefore, they direct part of their actions towards improving their self-esteem and self-confidence, and they do so more or less consciously, to ensure the effectiveness of these measures and to be constant in this task.

2. They immerse themselves in creative tasks

Creativity is one of the ways to make everything our thoughts are focused towards the resolution of a new challenge. The perception of creating something original makes this habit highly stimulating, and the feeling of having finished a piece of work that is unique in the world is highly enjoyable . Resilient people know this and so they like to alternate their day-to-day habits with a bit of novelty and self-demanding.

3. They maintain a stoic attitude when it is convenient…

People capable of developing good resilience are able to detect those situations where it is virtually impossible to make the context change in the short or medium term. This makes it possible for
do not raise vain illusions and that their efforts to adapt to what is happening to them focus on managing their way of experiencing what is happening in this new situation.

4. … But they don’t stop looking for goals!

Accepting situations that at first seem overwhelmingly bad, such as a
break-up after a long engagement or the outbreak of a disease, does not mean that from that moment on all aspects of that person’s life revolve around that perceived negative context. Resilient people show a tendency to take advantage of selective attention : instead of spending all day thinking about the bad things that happen to them, they focus on the goals to be developed. In the end, setting goals with a personal meaning, no matter how insignificant or transcendental these objectives are, is what allows us to manage our habits well and take control of our actions. Resilience consists, in part, in orienting oneself towards the horizon of the possible .

5.Surround themselves with people with a positive attitude

Resilient people are resilient, among other things, because they have gone through some tough situation that has moved them to train in their own emotional management. This means that they assume the existence of an anxious source that can generate tension, and far from pretending to ignore it or trying to suppress its memory (something practically impossible), they simply direct their attention elsewhere. For example, towards people with a positive attitude. Being involved in a community that is receptive and supportive of its members is a good way to facilitate the management of emotions. Having a flow of optimism and a desire for self-improvement that goes from the environment to oneself makes everything easier.

6. … But also with all kinds of human beings!

Living life normally includes not being limited by a bubble of friends and acquaintances that meet certain characteristics. Therefore, someone with a good command of
coping strategies will have no problem interacting with all kinds of people from time to time.

7.They’re doing things all day long

While when it’s time to sleep, of course! Maintain a
The active attitude helps them to focus and reach the desired goals , which in turn has a positive effect on their own self-esteem and self-confidence.

8.Practice sport and/or some kind of meditation

meditation appears to have multiple benefits, including facilitating the emergence of positive thoughts and reducing stress, as explained in this article. Sport, on the other hand, also serves to relax and gain self-confidence. Both of these habits are also very solid routines for everyday life, or in other words, small daily goals.

9.Use humor to empower themselves

The
Humor is a valuable resource for making things less important while getting a smile in return. Making jokes about something related to personal problems is perfectly healthy, considering that it addresses the issue by getting an emotional response that is pleasant and frees us from the weight of stress. However, as a resilience strategy, they should be spontaneous and genuinely funny jokes. Self-imposed humor can be a defense mechanism if you only treat the jokes as a mask.

10.Set aside time to think about what they can do in the long run

Coping with adversity means looking beyond the stress or sadness that may be experienced from time to time. That is why someone who has managed to enter into a dynamic of resilience plans his or her goals and makes some of them long-term. This helps to keep thoughts focused on those things that can be changed for the better and also helps to
being able to materially change the context makes it easier to confront negative situations.

11. Invite others to participate in their projects

Resilient people make a habit of encouraging others to participate in their projects, whether they are simple and short-term or ambitious and based on a goal that will take time to achieve. The meaning of this is to infect the positive attitude to others and, at the same time, to make this positive attitude return to oneself through the satisfaction of others, as an echo. Furthermore, projects involving many people are often more absorbing and stimulating than those carried out alone, as the expectations that others place on us encourage us to continue.

12. They soak up culture

There is nothing like exploring alternative ways of thinking and acting to build resilience. And, to achieve this, living culture is fundamental; in this way we discover thinkers, authors and artists who reveal their mental world to us and teach us that life can be experienced in many more ways than we originally believed. In the end, as the options of thought from which we can choose grow, so does our freedom and our ability to experience things in a satisfying way. In this sense, resilient people are always surrounded by stimulating forms of cultural expression.