It is easy to confuse the concepts of narcissism and self-centeredness . They are two ideas very much used in the world of psychology and that are related to each other, since they have in common a withdrawal from one’s own identity, thoughts and motivations.

However, they are used to refer to different things.

Differences between narcissists and egocentrics

We will now see where egocentrism and narcissism differ and how these concepts can serve to describe a personality type.

What is narcissism?

Narcissism is a psychological trait that in contemporary psychology is used to determine how close a person is to exhibiting a personality disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That means that, although one can say that someone shows a high level of narcissism in his behavior and way of thinking, the intensity of this trait does not have to become pathological .

And what is Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Fundamentally, it is a constant need to notice the admiration of others and the lack of empathy. This causes narcissistic people to have a feeling of grandiosity about their own abilities and positive qualities (something that can also be described as megalomania) and, ultimately, delusions of grandeur .

The narcissist takes it for granted that he deserves special treatment, gets frustrated when he notices that he is not getting the attention he deserves, and underestimates the achievements of others by interpreting them as a matter of luck. This is what often causes narcissists to try to make others feel bad about themselves, since their delusions of grandeur will be confirmed by the way others exhibit low self-esteem.

Furthermore, narcissism appears basically through learning , especially that which has taken place during the first years of life. This implies that in many cases it can be significantly corrected.

What is self-centeredness?

Self-centeredness, unlike narcissism, is not part of a diagnostic category. It is, rather, a concept used to refer to a pattern in the way of thinking .

And what is it that characterizes the self-centered way of thinking? Basically, the omission of views other than one’s own.

While narcissists, like the majority of the human population, can easily know the point of view of another person (although the narcissist gives little importance to it beyond the usefulness for oneself that this information has), where there is egocentrism the thoughts that evoke what the other person knows, believes or tries appear less frequently or in a more superficial and imperfect way.

In other words, self-centeredness is defined more by ignorance about what goes on in other people’s minds than by contempt for the judgment of others.

Examples of self-centeredness

If we want to see more clearly what distinguishes narcissism and self-centeredness, we can take the children’s way of thinking as an example.

The little ones do not have to be narcissists, but their thinking is self-centered because they find it difficult to put themselves in the place of others and imagine what they know or think.

For example, an ability known as Theory of Mind, which consists of being able to make conjectures about the kind of thoughts and information available to another person , does not appear to be well formed until about four years of age.

However, until that moment a child does not have to show narcissism, that is, he or she does not need to receive praise or notice how others are placed in a lower hierarchy. What will happen, among other things, is that will assume that everyone knows the information that one knows oneself . If a 3-year-old child sees someone arrive and hides a toy in a trunk, when another person arrives who was not present when the above happened he will assume that the newcomer also knows that the toy is hidden in the trunk.

The Self-Centered Brain

Thus, self-centeredness is not only about learned behaviors, but also about the degree of brain development. Younger people are egocentric because the neurons in their brain are not yet strongly interconnected with each other through areas of white matter, so they find it difficult to think through relatively abstract ideas and therefore cannot perform “simulations” about what is going on in someone else’s brain.

Narcissists, on the other hand, have a mature brain with well-connected neurons, and in their case what is characteristic is the way they prioritize their ideas and their motivations.

How to distinguish between the narcissist and the egocentric

So, in summary, the differences between narcissism and self-centeredness are:

1. Self-centeredness occurs in virtually all children

Since our first months of life we have been self-centered, for the simple reason that we have not developed the ability to think in terms of “me” and “others”. With age this capacity improves, but it reaches its maximum development, since it evolves along with the ability to think in abstract terms.

2. Self-centeredness has a more or less clear biological basis

Self-centeredness is due to the somewhat reduced functionality of certain neural connections, which can be identified indirectly by observing the white matter covering various areas of the brain. This does not mean that it is a developmental disorder or disease; it may be due to learned behaviors that are encouraged by an environment that does not value empathy or collaboration.

What is self-centeredness?

Self-centeredness, unlike narcissism, is not part of a diagnostic category.
It is, rather, a concept used to refer to a pattern in the way of thinking .

And what is it that characterizes the self-centered way of thinking?
Basically, the omission of views other than one’s own.