One of the worst experiences that we humans can go through is the breakup with our partner and the person we have loved so much. Especially in the case of a divorce, this situation can cause negative consequences on a psychological, family and economic level.

Divorce is a stage of great suffering that, in some cases, may require psychological help. Especially when there are disputes over custody of children or material goods. Although in the case of falling out of love and breaking up with one’s partner, relapses are frequent in situations where one comes into conflict with one’s ex-husband or ex-wife.

It is not easy to get over a divorce

Accepting a divorce is not easy, because we have had good times with our ex-spouse, there is great social pressure to be married and it is a blow to a person’s self-esteem. The emotional torrent does not leave anyone indifferent , and the emotions that can arise in this situation are so intense that we can be surprised at how two people who have loved each other can be treated in a divorce process.

Although we may think that the person who decides to end the relationship is the one who suffers the least, adapting to the new situation as single people is not easy, and it is more complicated when there has been, for example, an infidelity in the middle.

  • You are interested in reading: “The 6 uncomfortable truths about partner breakup”

The process of accepting the break

And of course, when it comes to leaving behind everything we have experienced, there are many memories that hit our minds again and again. Certainly, it is not easy to accept that the situation has reached its end, that the other person will redo his life without us and everything we have lived will be left behind so that we will never return.

But sometimes, this situation is inevitable, and then overcoming the phases of divorce in the right way is the best way to find stability again. We must do our part and let time go its way if we want to adapt again to the changing situation.

In time, a divorce can be overcome, but that does not mean that there is no suffering during the process. In fact, the neuronal circuits involved in love and disaffection are the same as in drug use, which can cause very intense emotions, relapses that increase the feeling of failure and greater conflicts with the ex-partner.

So, over time and if we get through each of these phases of the divorce properly without getting stuck in them, the neural circuits weaken and the neurochemicals we talked about in our article “the chemistry of love” stabilize. The body, then, adapts to the change and it is possible to recover normality.

Phases of divorce: the evolution of emotions

Some people have serious difficulties in overcoming divorce, as low self-esteem, poor social skills, and other reasons can make recovery more complicated. In these cases, divorce therapy is highly effective.

For a complete recovery, it is important to know the phases of the divorce and to overcome them . But what are these stages?

1. Denial and isolation phase

Accepting divorce up front is not easy and, in fact, it is common to deny reality and make attempts to recover what was there. It is a not very long stage, in which the person usually acts in this way as a form of protection.

Because nobody likes to feel rejected , and the pain of a marriage break-up is so great that it is difficult to come to terms with it. At this point it is important that the person understands his or her emotions and is aware of what has happened in their marriage relationship. It is necessary to be objective in order to get a more realistic picture of what is happening.

2. Anger phase

Once the person stops denying what is happening, he or she may feel an immense rage and intense anger that he or she projects onto the other person or onto himself or herself. If in the previous phase they didn’t want to see what was happening, now frustration can take hold of the person because of the events that have taken place and they often blame the other person for what has happened. Resentment and revenge are common in this phase, so it is necessary to be aware that this feeling of hate is part of this stage and will eventually disappear.

3. Negotiation phase

The negotiation phase can also be complicated if it is not managed properly, because the person is trying to understand the reasons for the separation and may try to understand the ex-partner. In this sense, may lead to an approach in which the latter tries to recover what was between the two . If things are not done well, the situation can get worse.

4. Depression phase

Sadness takes hold of the person because he or she begins to realize that getting the relationship back is no longer possible and has to leave behind the person he or she has loved so much. Reason begins to dominate over emotions and the individual begins to be objective and realistic. Grief invades him or her for losing someone so special to him or her.

5. Acceptance phase

Over time, the individual has become accustomed to the loss and has reflected on what the past relationship was like. He can now look again to the future with optimism by accepting that it is all over and that what could not be will not be. She no longer seeks to be with the other person and feels good about herself. She is ready to meet new people.