Fear is the emotion that most paralyzes us and limits our life. Beyond this, other paralyzing and distressing emotions such as insecurity or states of anxiety are also forms of fear. What does living a life constantly conditioned by our fears lead to?

The impact of fear on our lives

Fears are the most common problems of people who want to experience real and profound changes in their lives, whether in relation to their own well-being, personal or couple relationships, social difficulties or even at work or in business. It is an elusive emotion, and it is very difficult to detect these fears, to understand them, to know their meaning (what really frightens us) and above all to overcome them. But the problem is not the fear, but the way you understand and manage your fears .

Fear is a basic emotion and it is natural and necessary to feel it. As a psychological phenomenon, it protects us from many harmful factors. The problem lies in when we have created, almost always unconsciously, a multitude of fears towards situations that are not really dangerous and condition our life. Fears of loss, of loneliness, of not feeling capable…

This fear ends up transforming itself into anger, insecurities, arguments, discouragement, or above all into that very usual paralysis when it comes to facing problems or going towards what we really want and makes us happy.

In the last 10 years, accompanying people in their processes of change as a psychologist and coach, I have ended up knowing and working with the most common fears. All of them can be summarized in the 7 great fears,. Let’s see what they are and how to start overcoming them; and, if you want to take that step, you can register for free at Emociónate dentro de empoderamientohumano.com, a first step to start your change process to understand and know how to manage your emotions.

The 7 most common fears

These are the 7 most common fears that arise naturally at some points in many people’s lives:

1. Fear of powerlessness and failure

When it comes to challenges and projects, this fear is often a paralyzing force when it comes to doing what we really want. We live with the idea of our incapacity or the possible consequences , and fear tends to paralyze us to spare us those consequences. But the truth is that we are never 100% prepared to face something new, and what we understand as failure is part of that learning.

2. Fear of loneliness

Human beings are never alone. We are social beings, and the quality or quantity of our relationships depends on our openness and trust . Paradoxically, the more we distrust, the more we fear loneliness, and this leads us to isolate ourselves or, on the contrary, to try to keep people (like our partner) based on our fears and insecurities and through frequent discussions or demands.

3. Fear of death (own or of others)

Death is a natural process that we live with . Our society or way of life often isolates us from this process, which makes us even more afraid.

4. Fear of losing control

The control we have over our life is actually very small. We can make decisions, but at the same time we are affected and conditioned by many factors. This lack of confidence in life often makes us want to be in control of the uncontrollable . When this is not possible, fear tends to be reinforced. We want to control our children, our partner, our relationships, our objects and possessions, our status, etc.

5. Fear of loss

Personal or material, it is another form of fear of losing control, but oriented to what we lose , which implies that we live with the belief that we possess something or someone.

6. Fear that everything will remain the same

When we don’t like our situation, we’re afraid it will continue like this. This makes the fear valid with the simple passage of time, and we see everything more and more black. In turn, this fear has something positive: it helps you to commit to your own personal change .

7. Fear of losing security

We tend to believe that living safely is the key to happiness. However, life is pure insecurity. We don’t know what is going to happen in every moment, and the way we face that surprise conditions our life .

The fear of losing security makes us look for it so hard that we always feel dissatisfaction, frustration, anxiety, and therefore even more fear.

Personal development by improving the relationship with one’s fears

What do these fears lead to? What are you losing as a result of having them? How would your life be different if you learned to understand them and manage them so that they did not condition your life? And above all, how can you overcome them?

In reality, fear is necessary and it is not possible to leave them behind forever . The key is to have a functional relationship with your fears, so that you are warned about what is really dangerous or not and know how to understand and manage them in a functional way (that is really useful to you and leads you towards well-being and improvement of your relationships or professional life).

This is not something that is achieved simply by informing us about the objective risks (estimated according to the probability) that what we fear will happen. Having data does not have to translate into a change in the way we relate to our emotions.

This is what you get if you live a process of change, in the course of which that personal transformation stays with you forever, since you have learned mainly about yourself. This way of learning has a theoretical part, but above all a practical part based on new experiences. Without these, personal development is meaningless; and that is precisely what the “training” sessions with which we psychology professionals work are all about.