Despite the very wide access to information that we currently have thanks to the internet, there are still myths or erroneous beliefs related to sexuality that to a greater or lesser extent condition our sexual experience.

The fact is that good availability of information does not always make our lives easier or help prevent problems if that information is inadequate because it conforms to macho patterns or is not directly based on scientific conclusions. This is what happens in many websites with little contrasting content, based on pure popular beliefs about different aspects of sexuality.

While such inadequate information can influence everyone, regardless of age, it is the child/teen population that is most vulnerable to such misinformation. Again, education becomes a key tool to counteract the possible harmful effects that all this may entail.

Most common myths or misconceptions about sex

In our experience within Sex Education programs that we carry out in educational centers in different cities, we have seen that many of these myths are perpetuated throughout the generations. In this way, many of these erroneous beliefs that a large part of adolescents have today, were held by adults when they were in that stage of the evolutionary cycle. In this sense, there is an unquestionable perpetuation over time of sexual attitudes that in some cases are not desirable/healthy.

Below, we explain the myths or mistaken beliefs that we most often find in the classes .

1. “The first time you have intercourse (vaginal penetration) there is no possibility of pregnancy and it always hurts”

It must be said that there is no relationship between the first time this sexual practice is performed and the greater or lesser probability of pregnancy, since it is the use of an effective contraceptive method that decreases the possibility of pregnancy.

We say that the first coital relation does not have to hurt unconditionally because of a physiological issue, since the vagina is an elastic structure capable of “accepting” any size of penis, since it is designed among other things for this purpose.

It is true that sometimes pain can appear during that first time because of the importance that coitus represents in our culture . This means that both men and women go to their first coital relationship with high expectations that in many cases, produce nervousness, anxiety and even fear (due to the appearance of pain). In the case of women, all this can cause a drop in excitement (due to nervousness, fear, etc.), which reduces the level of lubrication and therefore the appearance of pain is more likely.

2. “Sexual intercourse is the most pleasurable sexual practice”

There are no biological elements that allow us to confirm such a statement, on the contrary there are many social conditioning factors that make us fall into a coitocentric vision of sexuality , or what is the same, to make sex turn into intercourse. In this way, this sexual practice can be as pleasant as many others: masturbation, oral sex, etc. We can find numerous cases of couples who, without carrying out the coitus, feel a high degree of sexual satisfaction. Everything will depend on tastes and preferences.

3. “Penis size is very important in sexual relationships”

T his belief is widespread in today’s society and consists of attaching excessive importance to the size of the penis . Thus, it is believed that a large penis is related to more sexual power or even to obtaining a higher level of pleasure. The truth is that size is relatively important in itself, unless the person’s taste or preference goes in that direction. In any case and in general terms, sexual potency has little to do with the size of the penis since there are a multitude of elements in the sexual scene that will determine whether one feels satisfied or not.

Consequently, it is important not to fall into this obsession and to think more in terms of functionability than in terms of size, that is, to look more at whether the penis is functional (if it fulfills the pleasant, physiological and reproductive function it has) than at the centimeters it measures. If the penis is functional, the rest (size, shape, etc.) enters into a secondary plane.

4. “The man is the one who has to carry the active part of the sexual relationship”

The gender culture has attributed some roles to men and others to women. Thus, the former have to be active, take the initiative in the relationship and take responsibility for women’s pleasure (in the case of heterosexual relationships). Women must be more passive and “let themselves be done”. It is important to consider that both men and women have the same sexual rights and therefore adopt the desired role regardless of what the culture dictates.

5. “Reverse is a good method of contraception”

This practice consists of having sex without using any method of contraception and removing the penis from the vagina when the man is about to ejaculate, by doing so outside the vagina. To think that “reverse” is an effective contraceptive method is a belief that is not only erroneous but dangerous for two reasons: firstly, because the man before ejaculation emits pre-seminal fluid that although it does not contain sperm, it could drag sperm located in the urethra from past ejaculations, so the risk of pregnancy would be significant.

On the other hand, it does not protect us from Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) since contact between the genitals and especially vaginal penetration is the greatest risk against infection (along with unprotected anal).

6. “Condom takes away sensitivity, cuts the roll”

Incorporating the use of condoms (male or female) in our sexual relations is one of the healthiest practices we can do. The condom is approximately one millimeter thick, which means that the “loss” of sensitivity is minimal. Going to sexual relations thinking that the condom will make me less sensitive will predispose me to this happening, so the attitude should not be that, but rather that I gain much more than I “lose” (if I lose anything) by using it.

7. “If the man loses his erection it is because he does not consider his partner attractive”

When the loss of erection occurs frequently we can raise the possibility that there is an erection problem , which is rarely caused by the partner being unattractive. The most frequent causes of this problem have to do with the anxiety generated by the fact that it occurs again, the fear of failure or the desire to perform, among others.

As we see once again, training is the most effective tool to combat these beliefs. From Formación Psicológica we have been teaching a course of Sexual Education Monitor for more than ten years, which enables the person who carries it out to carry out educational projects in schools and secondary education institutes where they can work in this and other areas of sexuality.