As we enter our thirties, some people are not able to cope with the changes that this entry into the third decade of life entails. More responsibilities, longer and more complicated schedules, more demanding jobs…

Of course, completing the twenty is a substantial change . While during the second decade of life we are required to do little more than study and start entering the labour market, when we turn 30 we are asked to settle into a stable job, and even the arrival of babies and mortgages to our routine.

The crisis of the 1930s: how to deal with it?

Since this is a very widespread problem, the truth is that many people are confused and find themselves with an excess of responsibility and stress when they turn thirty . What advice and strategies can we recommend from Psychology so that they can move forward quickly?

In today’s article we will explain what the crisis of the 30’s is and several tips with which to alleviate this emotional burden.

1. Demystifies birthday pressure

The crisis of the thirties has a deep-rooted cultural component . Certainly, age is only a number, but society is determined to make us carry certain backpacks (responsibilities, chores, demands) and, in the case of women, even the dreaded biological clock. This implies that culturally they feel increasing pressure to have offspring.

The effects of this way of conceiving of age as a way of accumulating social pressures of all kinds is highly dysfunctional. We must put the fact of having a birthday into perspective and take into account that what society understands as positive or “in accordance” with a certain age range does not have to be positive or beneficial for our lives.

2. Take responsibility

The older we get, the more we tend to want to own more property, to have a better job, a bigger and better furnished house … Watch out for all this. Growing up has to involve taking on certain responsibilities, but we should not fall into the trap of becoming anxious and stressed.

We live in a society that values above all material goods and the social position of each individual. That you are 30 years old or older and have not yet been able to find your place in the world implies absolutely nothing. In fact, many people who have succeeded in life have had disappointments and moments of anguish, until they finally found what made them happy (which is not always linked to the material). So we have to take responsibility, but be aware that the clock is ticking in our favour; it should never be a reason for stress or frustration.

3. Living Alone is Not a Drama

A cultural cliché comes into play in the 1930s crisis: it is that women must have children (before they “pass on the rice”). This myth can disturb many women who are caught between a rock and a hard place. They may not wish to have children, but society is constantly reminding them that they are of an age when they cannot delay much longer.

Here again, we need to promote an understanding that there are alternative ways of life that can fit perfectly with the personality of some individuals. **Or is it that we cannot be happy if we do not live as a couple or if we do not have any offspring? **

4. Be grateful for everything that life has given you so far

We return to a social and cultural factor that tries to harm us once we enter our thirties. This mercantilist society makes us feel a strong self-esteem only if we have achieved an above-average economic welfare. And, in fact, most people who live happily spend their (little) money travelling, having unique experiences, getting to know new places, enjoying the little things of each day , etc.

We must, every day, congratulate ourselves and be grateful for the way we are, for our past achievements and for all we have been able to live through to date. The material benefits will come, we have our whole life ahead of us and we should not feel bad if in this aspect we have not achieved great milestones.

5. Assume the processes of mourning

Thirty is an age when, generally, we will have some important loss within our family or friends circle . Our parents are already close to old age, and it is likely that we have already left the bubble of adolescent and post-adolescent well-being to immerse ourselves in a life with really hard times.

This process of adapting to a routine with ups and downs can lead to some psychological problems. It is important here to stress the valuable quality of resilience, which is that force that makes us recover even when things do not go as we wanted. Grieving when we lose a loved one or have a break-up is another of those aspects that will make us come out stronger during the crisis of the 30s.

Bibliographic references:

  • Lachman, M. (2004). Development in Midlife. Annual Review of Psychology 55. p. 305-331.
  • Lachman, M. (2001). Midlife Development Manual.