“The human only plays when he is free in the full sense of the word and is only fully human when he plays” -Friedrich Von Schiller

Do you remember the last time you played just for the sake of playing?

Often, we relate play as something exclusive to childhood and only relevant to that stage of life. But, in addition, lately we find that even children do not have time to play.

The game, goes far beyond an activity with educational and pedagogical value that entertains the little ones or entertains the adults. The game is part of the list of evolutionary milestones that we must reach throughout our development , such as, for example, the milestone of learning to walk.

Let’s look at chimpanzees, dolphins, dogs, lions, among many other animals, play until they get old and die. Therefore, playing transcends culture, playing is necessary for development and we should never stop doing it, just as we do not stop eating, walking or talking.

Play and expression

By playing we express ourselves and give freedom to our body and mind. The game is a machine of realization that over the years we are atrophying.

We will call the game “machinery of realization”, because it allows us to see ourselves, to know ourselves, to explore ourselves, it allows us to realize ourselves, to be freer and to develop and discover all our potential. If we atrophy all this, we are reduced to being more manipulable people, disconnected from ourselves, from our body, from our emotions and above all from our sensations. Those that allow us to regulate ourselves, to understand ourselves, to know what we need and why we need it.

Playing brings us closer to the present moment, as it is one of the few experiences that are made for the simple pleasure of doing it and not for the result or what is achieved. And that, every instant we are connected to the present moment, is happiness.

By playing we allow the free emergence of our being, of what we need to take out and express, our spontaneity opens up aligning mind, emotion and body. All those emotions that we accumulate, tensions, anxious symptoms, headaches, among others, can be released in moments of play.

How to get the game back?

Recovering the game can be a bit of a challenge for some. The good news is that we are designed and prepared, as a species, for it! Why can it cost?

Having been inhibited for so long, unconscious fears of being real and spontaneous can arise. They often appear in the form of blockages, such as experiencing embarrassment when playing or laughing. Why do we so often cover our faces when we laugh, if it is wonderful?

In addition, we often find that we have substituted “pleasure” for “duty” and this is accompanied by a series of beliefs that can be very limiting when we feel doubts about “what is right” and “what is wrong” when deciding what to invest my time in.

For all those people who have not played for a long time, expressive therapies are ideal. For example, art therapy as a vehicle for connection with oneself, laughter therapy as a practice of “letting go” and “letting go”, dance therapy as a means of becoming aware of the body and releasing blockages.

Benefits of sharing play with our children

By giving the children free time and space to play, we allow their development to be much richer. They can explore, they can experience roles that are not their own but that they need to feel, they can discover themselves and above all they can free and express everything that they cannot do with words or even understand.

On the other hand, as a parent, being able to share moments of free play with your child brings many benefits in bonding and attachment . When I talk about free play, I mean play that is free of correction and free of judgment. A game in which only deliberate attention is paid to pleasure, fun, laughter, physical contact, looks and above all, unconditional love.

Sharing this kind of play means giving our child security, confidence, to explore and express himself. We will be transmitting to him/her that he/she is important to us, that we like to know more about him/her, that his/her company is pleasant for us, that it is important for him/her to express himself/herself and that it is good for him/her to do so. We will be validating his or her emotions and freeing him or her of unpleasant feelings for not knowing if it is okay to feel what he or she feels. And with all this, we will also be building a healthy attachment between mother/father and child.

The development of healthy attachment is one of the most essential aspects of the kind of relationships our children have and will have with the world, with reality and with the people around them.

What games can I play with my children?

Sometimes, we tend to believe that the best activities for our children are those that are very new and elaborate. Let’s break with that myth; games don’t have to be like that.

They can be games as simple as singing a song, dancing, playing to hold your gaze, guessing with your eyes closed when the other’s finger reaches one of my arm’s joints, having each one draw a picture of the other, guessing tastes, smells, textures, objects with their eyes covered, talking imitating some animal, making it look like you are an animal, a plant, an object, a fireman, a teacher, or any profession, guessing films or fictional and cartoon characters, making a massage chain, among many others.

All these games mentioned above, are not only games that hardly require any material, but also are very stimulating games for our children and for ourselves . With them, besides benefiting from everything mentioned in the previous paragraphs, we will be stimulating the senses, providing more bodily awareness of oneself that will later serve them for greater emotional self-regulation.

Therefore, we have seen why gambling is necessary for good development, what benefits we gain by sharing the game and the importance of maintaining it throughout our lives.

Now, it’s just a matter of playing, enjoying and feeling!

“The child who does not play is not a child, but the man who does not play lost the child who lived in him and who will be sorely missed” -Pablo Neruda

  • Author : Coral Rodríguez. Child and Youth Psychologist at ARA Psicología. Specialist in behaviour disorders, emotional management and mindfulness.