Psychological well-being arises, at least in part, from our way of experiencing what happens to us throughout our lives. In other words, our mental health is always linked to what is going on around us, what is going on beyond our brains.

This can be clearly seen in cases where psychological problems caused by infertility problems appear , an experience that, although it does not generate great discomfort in all cases, in some people it can even trigger important crises.

Psychological problems linked to infertility in the couple

The emotional shock of knowing that you probably won’t have biological children doesn’t always go away in a few days. Sometimes, it turns into psychological problems that stay alive longer .

In the long run, this can lead to symptoms of genuine psychological disorders, some of which may be termed disorders. Let’s look at several of those that are usually seen in psychotherapy, taking into account that they don’t usually occur all at once in the same person.

1. Lack of a clear life goal

For many people, raising at least one son or daughter and watching their offspring grow up is basically the most important goal to which one can aspire, that which gives structure and meaning to all adult life . Infertility truncates these expectations, especially when it comes between the father or mother and the first baby, and this sometimes triggers the appearance of mood disorders, such as depression.

2. Gender Role Complexes

Due to the importance that we culturally give to the capacity to be a mother, many women live infertility practically as a traumatic experience ; a desperate situation that escapes the control of the one who suffers it in the first person, and at the same time “is always there”, or at least seems to be lurking at all times.

Similarly, for many men it is also extremely painful not to be able to have biological children, and can even generate serious insecurities, given that fatherhood is related to the concept of masculinity and virility .

Of course, all these forms of discomfort do not arise in themselves from the inability to have children, but from the interpretation of this fact mediated by cultural phenomena: gender roles and the stereotypes they bring with them . However, this does not mean that the psychological problems derived from infertility should be overlooked or even underestimated, because however much they are based (in part) on social conventions, the emotional pain really exists, and therefore they should be taken seriously.

3. Sexual Dysfunctions

Mentally, for some couples (or members thereof), parenthood is linked to genitality. Therefore, cases of infertility are capable of favouring the appearance of sexual dysfunctions linked to insecurity and fear of ridicule . “I’m not good at this”, “this doesn’t make sense” are relatively common thoughts among those who believe that they are biologically “broken” for everything to do with sex and reproduction.

4. Social isolation

In a certain age group, it is normal that one of the issues that arises when socializing with other people from the same generation is child rearing, funny stories about taking care of the baby, etc. This can cause a feeling of offence and loneliness if it is interpreted in an inappropriate way , and can even predispose to social isolation, not wanting to meet up with friends so as not to go through that frustrating experience again.

5. Couple’s crisis

Because of this, painful memories associated with infertility are able to make life as a couple unpleasant, by being a constant reminder of what produces frustration .

Psychotherapy applied to cases of infertility

Fortunately, although infertility is often a long-lasting condition and there is no partial improvement (or you are able to have a viable baby, or not), the negative psychological effects linked to it can be effectively treated with the professional help of psychotherapists.

In these interventions, adapted to the characteristics and needs of each couple or patient, we psychologists establish strategies to help those who visit us in two parallel ways: changing the way infertility is interpreted, and promoting life habits that help people feel good about the resources available to them.

In this way, regardless of whether or not it is possible to have a baby over time, patients make their own a philosophy of life in which happiness is not conditioned by paternity or maternity. And, on the other hand, we also intervene in possible problems of the couple that may have emerged due to the mismanagement of emotions in the face of infertility.

If you are interested in finding out how we work at Cribecca Psychology, a psychotherapy centre located in Seville , you can find out more about us, as well as our contact details, by clicking here.

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