If we had to choose some question that usually comes to mind in the most arduous and complicated moments of our existence, for me that would be none other than the unknown that begins with a “why? .

If you have decided to start reading this article, you have probably been motivated by interest in the question at hand. Well, especially for you, this reflection is important.

Searching for answers about everything

Why did this happen to me? Why did he leave? Why doesn’t he want me? Why am I not able to make it? Why do I fall into the same trap over and over again? Why don’t people like me? Why is the world like this? Why do people behave like this? Why, why, why…

As a defense mechanism, we try to understand in a more or less logical way , more or less fair, more or less rational, a world that in many occasions has little of logic, of fair or of rational. But as if it were a bureaucratic request, we find it hard to skip that first step of the procedure. That phase in which we understand unequivocally that something is failing, is not going as we expected or is simply so and there is nothing left but to accept it, however absurd it may seem to us.

Such is the case of children who, having everything, do not know how to give value to anything and who, faced with any daily setback, are unable to overcome the resulting level of frustration. Or those couples, who seem to be perfect, overnight make us perplexed by their incomprehensible break-up. There are also those who are young, beautiful and slender, as well as insecure, fainthearted or conformist. Or why of the talented young man who is continually engaged in wasting his talent, preferring other channels through which to guide his destiny.

There is also the reason for the boss, who likes to surround himself with subjects rather than critics, for the greater glory of his ego in the face of his company’s success. Or the why of the one who, enjoying innumerable strengths, fears the worst omens that may never come, in many areas of his existence… and before all of them, something even more profound and incomprehensible at the same time, could be posed: the why of my why.

Getting out of the vicious circle of thought

Following the usual script of a literary article, now would be the right time to provide the relevant answers to the questions raised, but I am afraid that anyone who would expect such a thing at this point would be starting to feel a certain sense of disappointment as they go along.

Indeed, I do not have a unique, genuine or original answer that could provide an answer to the countless list of “why’s” raised so far, and even if I did, I doubt that I could offer peace or satisfaction to anyone who held such expectations. If that has been your case, you may want to sharpen your senses and pay even more attention to what follows.

Going beyond motives

When we ask ourselves why, we start a journey. A journey that takes us back to our past. We go over and over again the horror film that led us to consider the need to find an explanation for such a misfortune, because when things are going well, few are those who consider the “why” of it and if they do, they usually do not spend much time in elaborating the pertinent analyses.

My question to the former would be what do you expect to find there, in the past, that you have not already found? This figurative journey to the past, to what we went, did or lost, will only justify or, in other words, excuse our present behavior, condemning us irrevocably to repeat our fate over and over again, because of the immobility that follows this type of analysis.

If what we want is to leave an episode behind, overcome a limitation, grow, advance and develop, we cannot be satisfied with an explanation, with a “why” . We will have to look for arguments of change, motivations and illusions that implement new actions, which in turn can produce new results, because if we are aware of anything, it is that where these “why’s” lead us, is not where we want to go.