We all like to be liked and accepted by others, but many spend too much time and energy trying to please others.

The psychological wear and tear of thinking about pleasing everyone is unhealthy and produces unnecessary stress. In fact, it is a very frequent way of giving up living in the present moment and does not benefit a person’s well-being. Besides, there is nothing more seductive than a person who is totally in tune with himself, and who lives life as he would like to live it.

Think about yourself before you think about what others think about you

It is inevitable not to think from time to time about the image we show to the outside, since we are social beings. Although it is not a question of isolating oneself from the world and living in a lost village, one cannot be there 24 hours a day wanting to be what others want one to be.

Happiness is achieved by knowing yourself and fighting for what you like . If you are one of those who spends a lot of time thinking about giving an image to be accepted by others, you will surely show yourself that way:

  • You stop being yourself and are what others want you to be.
  • You stay away from others so they won’t judge you
  • You constantly live in the shadow of whether your actions will be accepted or not, and you maintain a constant state of alertness that is exhausting.
  • If something doesn’t go as planned, you feel very bad.
  • You forget yourself to think about others.
  • You keep your emotions to yourself by thinking about whether or not they will be accepted by others.
  • You don’t show yourself as you are, but as they want you to be
  • You have a shell because it keeps your relationships from being authentic and that wears you down

Tips to stop thinking about what others think about you

As we said, trying to please everyone all the time is exhausting. If you spend a lot of time fearing the opinion of others to the point that you run out of time for yourself, follow the advice below.

Understand the reasons for your concern

Understanding that culture and socialization are important for our social belonging is the first step to stop thinking this way. From a young age we are taught to act in a certain way , to dress in a certain way, to accept certain ideologies, to buy fashionable products, etc. Moreover, the emergence of social networks favours our constant exposure to a showcase of social comparison.

Reflecting on what is happening around us is important in order to recover our identity as subjects and not objects. It is exhausting to always be on the lookout for that image we give outward, and even more so when we have to be on the lookout for what we publish on our Facebook profiles, Instagram, etc.

Getting out of this vicious circle as soon as possible and investing time in loving ourselves, is taking a step forward and recovering our authentic “self”.

You can’t control what others think of you

Each person is a world, with his experiences, his thoughts, his tastes, etc. It’s impossible to please everyone because you can’t fit into everyone’s parameters. Focusing on others instead of yourself is a mistake, since you have no control over what they think or say about you. What you can control is the path you want to take and what you will take with you.

Don’t waste your energy on what they think of you

As we said before, thinking about what others think of you is exhausting. It’s exhausting because you waste your energy on something you don’t control. Invest that time in thinking about yourself and you’re sure to get better results. Know yourself, fight for what you want in life and grow as a person. When you get in tune with yourself, you enter a State of Flow and everything costs less.

Practice Mindfulness

The Mindfulness philosophy refers to living the present in all its totality, and proposes that on this path we are able, progressively, to find the essence of who we are. With Mindfulness we become aware of the reality that surrounds us and we can live from freedom , self-knowledge and acceptance.

The treatment of oneself is based on compassion and “non-judgment”. Therefore, from the Mindfulness mentality, it does not make much sense what others think of us, because we respect ourselves as we are .