Parental styles and family dynamics influence both the present and future well-being of the members of a family . The family is one of the most important socializing agents in the development of a person, if not the most.

Main causes of a toxic household

Households in balance benefit the mental health of their members, but this is not always the case . There are unstructured households that cause disorders and great discomfort to their members. Below is a list of the main causes of a toxic household.

1. Addiction

Parents are the main socializing agents of children, from birth to adulthood. They are role models and are needed especially at an early age and therefore a good parenting style will positively affect a child’s development.

Although many parents give their all for their children, this is not always the case. Some of them behave badly not only towards themselves, but also towards their family environment . Addiction is, without a doubt, one of the worst evils that a human being can suffer, which also affects the whole family that lives with an addict (whether it be gambling or drugs).

An addicted parent will cause financial problems for the family and constant conflict. And the consequences in the family nucleus are numerous, for example, domestic violence or poor parental education.

2. Miscommunication

Communication is key in any relationship, whether it’s with a partner, friends or parents. The correct expression of feelings and needs, listening correctly to the needs of the children or being clear about the reasons for some family rules influence the climate that can be experienced in a family. Poor communication not only creates conflicts, but makes it difficult to resolve them.

3. Excess control

Over-controlling parents cause serious problems for the children and make it difficult for them to relate to their partner . This is because the controlling style of parenting employs very strict rules in the family, encouraging obedience and diminishing the well-being of the members. In the case of parents, this style of upbringing can manifest itself, for example, when they do not let their children go to school events, nor do they let them assume age-appropriate responsibilities. They are often parents who instill fear in other family members to obey them.

4. Abuses

Abuses do not have to be physical, but can also be psychological . For example, by insulting, manipulating or verbally belittling other family members. Abuse is one of the worst family behaviors, making families dysfunctional.

5. Lack of consistency in rules

As I said, parents are role models within the family, and when they don’t comply with the rules, their children hardly ever do. It is important that there is coherence when demanding that children comply with certain rules . For example, if the adolescents in the family are asked not to use a mobile phone at the table, it is not good for the parents to be the first to have all the food hooked up to the mobile device.

6. Perfectionism

Overly perfectionist parents create dysfunctional families, as their expectations of what family is and should be are unrealistic. Perfectionism is not positive at all, neither at the family nor at the individual level.

7. Overly demanding parents

And perfectionist parents tend to be very demanding , which makes their children feel a great deal of frustration when they don’t get what they want. Low tolerance to frustration is characteristic of people with low emotional intelligence and those who enjoy a low level of well-being.

8. Authoritarianism and low tolerance

Authoritarian parents make their children behave in a certain way without taking into account their needs and emotions. They are often intolerant and inflexible and make the rest of the family feel bad. They are prone to aggression, and are characterized by encouraging a dysfunctional parenting style.

9. Disaffected families

We human beings need affection and we need to be loved , especially by our family. When this does not happen, psychological problems can be devastating when it comes to having close relationships with other people. In these cases, the effect on the emotional level of the family members and their well-being will also be devastating. Proper communication of emotions and displays of affection are necessary to make a home non-toxic.

10. Excessive protectionism

However, the excess of affection is not beneficial, because it can create weak personalities just like the excess of protectionism . Spoiled and overprotected children become people who lack coping and problem-solving skills.

You can read our article “Overprotected children: 6 educational errors that damage them” to learn more about this phenomenon.