Emotional Intelligence (EI), is a concept that emerged in the 80s thanks to psychologist Daniel Goleman, the figure who popularized this concept. This type of intelligence is understood as the ability to identify, understand and regulate one’s own emotions and those of others .
Over the past three decades, many studies have shown that being emotionally intelligent means enjoying greater mental health and better performance, and so it applies in the clinical and therapeutic field as well as in work, education or sport.
The importance of being emotionally intelligent
But why is it important to be emotionally intelligent? What are the benefits of EI? EI improves our quality of life and our performance because:
- It allows us to know each other better . Self-knowledge is key to our self-esteem and self-confidence.
- It helps us make better decisions. It allows us to think better and control our emotions so that we do not get carried away by our impulses.
- We performed better at work . It is key to improve the productivity of the employees, their occupational health and to improve the relations with the clients.
- It reduces stress and protects us from it. Good emotional management and interpretation of events is beneficial in reducing stress.
- Favours interpersonal relations . Understanding our emotions and those of others and regulating our behaviour is key when relating to other individuals.
- Allows for growth . Emotional Intelligence is a tool used by personal development professionals.
- Promotes psychological well-being . Knowledge about our emotions and those of others helps us to know better what happens to us and how we relate to other people. Consequently, it improves our emotional health.
- It increases motivation and helps to achieve goals. Self-knowledge helps us to overcome difficult moments and allows us to know what we really like.
Learning Phrases Emotional Intelligence
If you are interested in learning more about this concept. Here are 70 phrases to learn how to be emotionally intelligent .
1. Anger, resentment, and jealousy do not change the hearts of others, only your own (Shannon L. Alder)
The only person who is negatively affected by jealousy and resentment is yourself, because it causes resentment.
2. What really matters for success, character, happiness and life accomplishments is a defined set of social skills, not just cognitive skills, which are measured by conventional IQ tests (Daniel Goleman)
Daniel Goleman explains the importance of EQ in developing tools to succeed in life.
3. An emotion does not cause pain. Resistance or suppression of an emotion causes pain (Frederick Dodson)
When we accept emotions as they are, our level of anxiety and emotional stress drops. This is the path to personal well-being.
4. It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of the heart over the head, it is the intersection of both (David Caruso)
EQ is not the opposite of IQ, they complement each other.
5. As human beings, we all want to be happy and free from misfortune, we have all learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as hatred, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion are the sources of peace and happiness (Dalai Lama)
Regulating one’s emotions is beneficial for achieving our happiness and inner peace, says the Dalai Lama.
6. In the last decade, science has discovered the role that emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, emotional awareness and skills in controlling feelings will determine our success and happiness in all areas of life, including family relationships (John Gottman)
Success in life has a lot to do with mastering one’s EQ . Poor knowledge of emotions and poor regulation adversely affects our well-being and performance.
7. We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are, that is a fact (Jean Paul Sartre)
We decide what we do and how we do it. We own our behavior.
8. It is not a matter of erasing the negative emotions that certain events can cause us, but of reducing their intensity (Jonathan García-Allen)
The emotions are there and you have to accept them. Not accepting them means increasing our level of intensity.
9. When I say control emotions, I mean really stressful and disabling emotions. Feeling emotions is what makes our life rich (Daniel Goleman)
Emotions should not be avoided, but accepted as they are, because they are part of life.
10. Use pain as a rock in your path, not as a camping area (Alan Cohen)
We can’t avoid the facts that cause us pain, but we can avoid staying in that negative circle that causes us pain.
11. The nervous system and hormonal responses of hostile people are a pathway to illness and death (Redford Williams)
Constantly re-living negative emotions causes our physical and mental health to be negatively affected.
12. Change your attention and you will change your emotions. Change your emotion and your attention will change place (Frederick Dodson)
We have the possibility to decide which way we go with emotions, whether to let them affect us or to accept them.
13. Let us not forget that small emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it (Vincent Van Gogh)
Emotions influence our life in three ways : physiological, cognitive, behavioural.
14. Emotional intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding and choosing how we think, feel and act. It shapes our interactions with other people and our own understanding. It defines how and why we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines most of our daily actions. Research suggests that it determines at least 80% of success in our lives (J. Freedman)
A large part of our success is due to how we manage our relationships and how we handle our interpersonal relationships.
15. Emotions are contagious. We all know it from experience. After a good coffee with a friend, you feel good. When you are touched by an ill-mannered receptionist in a shop, you leave feeling bad (Daniel Goleman).
External stimuli provoke both positive and negative emotions. For example, after running we feel very good.
16. Be aware that you are creating right now. You are creating your next moment based on what you feel and think. That’s what’s real (Doc Childre)
We are creators of our life. We interpret what happens to us and make decisions about what to do and how to do it.
17. Trust, like art, never comes from having all the answers, but from being open to all questions (Earl Gray Stevens)
Self-confidence is conditioned by how we relate to events . If we let ourselves be carried away by them, it will descend. If we see them from a positive perspective, we may have a high level of self-confidence.
18. Will is the intention favoured by emotions (Raheel Farooq)
Emotional management requires will, it is not easy to regulate emotions.
19. We must be aware that what causes us discomfort or anxiety is not the events, but how we link emotions to them (Jonathan García-Allen)
Thanks to EQ we can master our relationship with events.
20. True compassion does not mean just feeling another person’s pain, but being motivated to eliminate it (Daniel Goleman)
Compassion is one of the best ways to improve our mental and emotional well-being.
21. It is amazing how once the mind is free from emotional contamination, logic and clarity emerge (Clyde DeSouza)
Negative emotions cloud our minds and cause negative behavior that damages our emotional health.
22. Guilt, shame and fear are the immediate motives for deception (Daniel Goleman)
When we do not accept negative emotions, shame and fear arise.
23. We plant seeds that bloom in our lives, therefore, eliminate those of hate, greed, envy and doubt (Dorothy Day)
We must eliminate hatred and greed and other harmful emotions not only for others, but also for ourselves.
24. I believe that the next decade will see well-conducted research showing that emotional skills and competencies predict positive outcomes at home, at school, and at work. The real challenge is to show that EQ matters more than psychological constructs that have been measured for decades like personality or IQ (Peter Salovey)
EQ has been undervalued and ignored for a long time, giving more importance to not-so-important constructs.
25. Emotional education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper and self-esteem (Robert Frost)
When we are emotionally intelligent people we don’t let events dominate us.
26. That’s the thing about lessons, you always learn from them, even when you don’t want to (Cecelia Ahern)
Negative situations are to learn not to repeat them.
27. It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of someone else’s life perfectly
Perfectionism causes many emotional health problems.
28. The ability to express one’s feelings is a fundamental social skill (Daniel Goleman)
In order to relate to others in an appropriate way, we must have the ability to master our own emotions.
29. The best index of a person’s character is the way they treat people who can’t do any good, and the way they treat people who can’t defend themselves (Abigail Van Buren)
Being respectful and honest is one of the best virtues of the human being.
30. We live in a society that does not educate us to be emotionally intelligent people (Daniel Goleman)
Unfortunately, society does not pay attention to emotional education .
31. Every emotion has its place, but it should not interfere with proper action (Susan Oakey-Baker)
Emotions must be accepted, not avoided.
32. Talent is an important part of achieving success. However, there are other factors that keep us alive in difficult times (anonymous)
EQ helps us to get through difficult times
33. Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare. They are there to let you know that something is worthwhile (JoyBell)
Fears must be accepted and then faced
34. In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels (Daniel Goleman)
Goleman talking about reason and emotions.
35. Our ability to adapt is incredible. Our ability to change is spectacular (Lisa Lutz)
People can learn emotional intelligence and adapt better to their environment.
36.The emotional brain responds to an event faster than the rational brain (Daniel Goleman)
Emotions happen faster than reasoning.
37. Happiness is not the absence of problems, it is the ability to deal with them (Anonymous)
The problems exist, so they have to be dealt with.
38. The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with it through the heart (Rasheed Ogunlaruuinca)
You have to connect to yourself and live in the present moment to be happy.
39. A smart person can rationalize anything, a wise person doesn’t even try (Jen Knox)
Over the years you realize you have to take the iron out of it.
40. If you struggle with yourself to discover your true self, you will discover that there is only one winner (Stephen Richards)
A sentence that invites deep reflection.
41. Western businessmen often do not realize the importance of establishing human relationships (Daniel Goleman)
The society in which we live has undergone a great change in the way people relate to each other.
42. If you want to be happy, you must resign yourself to seeing others happy (Bertrand Russell)
Happiness is born from oneself, not from external sources.
43. We forget very easily what causes us pain (Graham Green)
It is difficult for us to overcome pain, but it is necessary to live happily.
44. I don’t care what you say to me. I care what you share with me (Santosh Kalwar)
A date that talks about sharing with another person.
45. Since politicians never believe what they say, they are surprised when someone does (Charles de Gaulle)
Politicians tend to live with the idea of seducing others.
46. Emotional intelligence determines our success in life (Daniel Goleman)
If we want to succeed in life, we have to be emotionally intelligent.
47. One must learn to control one’s emotions if one does not want to be seen by others (anonymous)
We can’t just do whatever we want if we want to get along with other people.
48. Emotions must be controlled if we want to live in harmony with others (anonymous)
Emotional regulation is vital when we live surrounded by other people.
49. I was so busy writing the review that I could never stop looking at myself (Groucho Marx)
If you have high self-confidence you don’t care about other people’s criticism.
50. One must know oneself to relate successfully to others (anonymous)
Self-knowledge is necessary if we want to have healthy interpersonal relationships.
51. Our attitude toward life determines their attitude toward us (John N. Mitchell)
An interesting reflection that is motivating.
52. The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge (Bertrand Russell)
A reflection that combines passions and rationality .
53. Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts (Søren Kierkegaard)
The Danish philosopher related our way of life to those fundamental ideas and principles that lead our way of thinking.
54. Chaos is rejecting everything you’ve learned. Chaos is being yourself (Emil Cioran)
The philosopher Cioran believed that identity built through learning is something futile and banal.
55. Every man is a creature of the time in which he lives (Voltaire)
Voltaire believed that we cannot consider ourselves independent of the historical context in which we live. Our ideas and our way of life are always conditioned by the date of our birth.
56. We are what we repeatedly do (Aristotle)
Aristotle distanced himself from Plato’s idealism: for him facts and environment mattered more, and this is clear in this eminently philosophical phrase of life.
57. The things we love tell us who we are (Thomas Aquinas)
This important philosopher found in love one of the defining facts of the person.
58. Life is a tragic picture is seen in the foreground, but in general it becomes a comedy (Charlie Chaplin)
Chaplin, as a film director, knew that the same event, or even a person’s life, changes depending on the way it is presented.
59. You always admire what you don’t really understand (Blaise Pascal)
This philosopher talks about the long range of curiosity in our lives.
60. Man is the only creature that refuses to be who he is (Albert Camus)
Albert Camus, in one of his philosophical phrases about the struggle that human beings maintain with the creation of a meaning for their existence.
61. The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook (William James)
This is one of the phrases of one of the referents in the history of psychology.
62. Knowledge talks, but wisdom listens (Jimi Hendrix)
Hendrix, on an important differentiating factor.
63. What is proven today could only be imagined (William Blake)
This quote refers to the perspective with which we should take what seems impossible.
64. Only the educated are free (Epictetus)
Education as an engine of freedom and autonomy.
65. There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love (Bryant H. McGill)
A snake that bites its own tail.
66. What is pride? A rocket that emulates the stars (William Wordsworth)
One of the phrases in EQ that talks about the paradox of pride: it can be a weakness and, at the same time, move us to improve .
67. In the face of success, attitude is as important as skill (Walter Scott)
A phrase that highlights two great assets of personality.
68. It takes a long time to become young (Pablo Picasso)
This brilliant artist created a curious paradox about age.
69. Excellence is not a skill, it is an attitude (Ralph Marston)
An inspiring phrase that invites us to live life with decision .
70. Freedom is never given; it is always earned (Asa Philip Randolph)
Along the lines of the previous reflection, this leads us to ask ourselves what we do to gain sovereignty over our own lives.
71. Nothing is as bad as it seems when you think about it. (Daniel Kahneman)
Relativizing everything that happens to us in life is synonymous with living more peacefully.
72. If you’re reading this… Congratulations, you’re alive. If that’s not something to smile about, may God come down and see it. (Chad Sugg)
Of course, the miracle of being alive well deserves a small but heartfelt celebration every morning.
73. Follow your heart but take your brain with you. (Alfred Adler)
Although emotions should guide us through life, reasoning and temperance are also great travel companions.
74. There is no worse nostalgia than longing for what never happened. (Joaquín Sabina)
Úbeda’s genius speaks thus about a very particular kind of nostalgia.
75. Those of you who suffer because you love: love even more; to die of love is to live. (Victor Hugo)
A great line about love.