Wendy’s Syndrome: People who need the approval of others

Wendy's Syndrome: People who need the approval of others

We have already discussed in another article the characteristics of Peter Pan Syndrome. Behind someone who has this syndrome, there is always a person looking out for him or her.

Wendy’s Syndrome

That person is Wendy, and has an urgent need to satisfy the other, mainly if it is her partner or her children .

Examples of Wendy’s Syndrome would be the father or mother who practically does their child’s homework, who wakes him up every morning so that he doesn’t arrive late to school even though he is old enough to do it alone, who always tries to make life easy for those around him, or also the housewife who assumes all the responsibilities in the home so that the husband and children don’t have to do it; or a member of a couple who assumes all the duties and makes the decisions and also justifies the informality of his partner to the others.

Characteristics of Wendy’s Syndrome

To make it clearer, let’s look at the characteristics of a person with Wendy’s Syndrome are

  • It feels essential to others.
  • He understands love as sacrifice and resignation.
  • She feels the need to care for and protect others by assuming a motherly figure. He ends up assuming the role of his partner’s father or mother.
  • Avoid at all costs that people around you get angry or upset.
  • He tries to make others happy all the time.
  • She always seeks to please those around her.
  • He insists on doing things and taking responsibility instead of the other person.
  • To continually ask for forgiveness for all that you have not done or have not been able to do even when the responsibility is not yours.
  • He gets depressed by lack of attention and depends on social acceptance.

Need for security

So far this description may remind us of our mothers and fathers and the reader may think that it is not negative since all this seems to be something beautiful and altruistic , but Wendy does not do this for genuine pleasure, but this set of behaviors is done by fear of rejection , by the need to feel accepted and supported and by the fear that nobody wants her. What, in short, leads them to be exaggeratedly servile to others is a need for security .

Emotional dependence

Another negative aspect of this behavioral disorder is that people with Wendy’s Syndrome find it difficult to control their own course in life, so they focus on trying to control other people’s lives. It is also likely that a Wendy mother will have a child with Peter Pan Syndrome.

Those who suffer from this syndrome find it difficult to recognize that this is their reality and their diagnosis, even though it is a non-established clinical entity , is made because people come to the consultation feeling “burned”, oversaturated or overwhelmed. Those who suffer from this syndrome go to the specialist of their own free will.

As in PPS, the origin of the syndrome is often found in the family past of the person who suffers it, where the person felt isolated and unprotected, so in adulthood he or she compensates for the lack of direction and protection by assuming the role of the absent parents or those he or she wanted to have. And unlike PPS, Wendy’s syndrome affects more women than men , this may be due to cultural and educational factors.

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