Although love is one of the most incredible experiences that we can have as people, lack of love is, without a doubt, a traumatic experience that can affect our mind and our behavior . In fact, grief is a process that takes place after a loss, be it of a loved one who dies, a job or a break-up of a relationship.

Lack of love is a necessary and painful process that, despite being universal, each person lives it in his or her own way.

What to do when your partner leaves you

Especially if we have been left, this process can be a complicated experience to live and can be very challenging, because our self-esteem can suffer the consequences and the pain can be difficult to handle. And although at the beginning of the breakup it often seems that this suffering will never end, our brain is a flexible organ, with the ability to reorganize itself and adapt to the environment. With time it is possible to rebuild our lives, move on and, in short, recover our well-being and become happy again .

If you find yourself in this situation and feel identified with what you have just read, in this article we have prepared a series of tips that will help you to overcome the break-up, especially if you have been dumped. So that you can face this stage of your life in the best way.

1. Accept the situation

The first step in overcoming a break-up is to accept the situation, otherwise it will not be possible to move forward and regain your well-being. Acceptance is key to any change process and non-acceptance acts as a barrier between us and our happiness.

Accepting this situation is not easy, but it is necessary for us to find ourselves again and empower ourselves in the face of life. If we do not do this, anger will invade us and resentment will not allow us to move forward. This does not mean that we cannot experience some negative emotions such as frustration; however, we must adopt a compassionate mentality towards ourselves and towards what has happened to us. In this sense, will and time must do their work.

Acceptance often comes from understanding the facts , so understanding that this phenomenon is painful and is part of life also helps to look to the future and not get stuck in the past. Understanding that love is not a linear process but that there may be relapses can help us overcome the most difficult moments when we have been left.

  • Acceptance comes after a number of stages. In our article “The 5 stages of overcoming the grief of the breakup” we explain them to you.

2. Focus on yourself

One of the main problems we can suffer when we are left is not focusing on ourselves . Many times, when we are in a relationship, we get used to being with someone and we can suffer a certain degree of emotional dependence. Being single is a great opportunity to spend time for ourselves, to fight for our personal development and for what will really make us feel good.

When you become attuned to yourself and fight for your desires and concerns, your mental well-being and emotional balance improves. This helps to improve self-esteem and to choose one’s partner freely, not on the basis of an inner void that we do not know how to fill otherwise. Although it is not easy to recognize, many people do not know how to be alone and seek to fill the void they feel with someone else, without stopping to correct their own mistakes or strengthen their self-esteem, affected after the breakup.

3. Surround yourself with friends and avoid isolation

When the relationship ends, the daily routine and sharing much of our life with that person will change . Getting used to their affection and letting go of those intimate moments is usually the hardest thing to overcome. It is in these moments of loneliness that we must surround ourselves with friends and loved ones.

Relationships are essential to our happiness, especially in these hard times. If we are in company, we will make more plans, share our thoughts with others, have more fun, meet new people, and ultimately feel better.

4. Stay active and distracted

Besides surrounding yourself with friends, it is good that you have plans and objectives, and that you do the activities that make you feel good, which will allow you to release some neurochemicals related to pleasure and happiness (endorphins, serotonin, etc.) and will make you have fun moments.

Practicing physical exercise, studying what you like or going to the movies will help you not to fall into sadness and inactivity, which can anchor you in your negative thoughts and suffering.

5. Don’t blame yourself

Everyone at some point in their life has gone through this, but no one dies of lack of love . Although it is true that when our partner leaves us, he can make us feel guilty about how the relationship went, in reality, couples are made up of two people and, generally, when they break up, both are partly to blame. You may have made a mistake at some point, but you are human and must accept it as part of life. After all, no one is perfect.

6. Abandon the role of victim

Now, just because you don’t blame yourself doesn’t mean you should take on the role of victim . In fact, it is not positive either that you feel sorry for yourself and adopt this role, because blaming the other person for what happened is not the solution either. In these cases, there is only one way to recover your well-being, and that is to get hooked on life again and connect with your own needs and desires, that is, to fight for your own personal development.

7. Go to psychological therapy

Sometimes, some people may have serious difficulties in overcoming a break-up because, after the break-up, one member may still be in love. In these cases, sadness and anxiety may be some symptoms that manifest themselves, along with others such as lack of appetite, weight loss, lack of motivation and isolation, changes in sleep patterns and inability to enjoy things that were considered pleasant, among others.

While these symptoms may be normal in the early stages of the rupture, they are not normal if they are prolonged over time. If, after the first few weeks, the person is unable to rebuild his life and overcome the lack of love, he may need professional help to learn tools to help him overcome the bad time he is going through, to put aside his obsessions, to learn social skills to meet new people and, in short, to recover his well-being and happiness

Mensalus Institute: experts in psychological help for overcoming break-ups

Instituto Mensalus is a psychology centre in Barcelona (face-to-face and online) that is at the forefront of psychological intervention and has a team of psychologists who are highly specialised in couples’ therapy and bereavement therapy. Therefore, if you feel identified with the above lines, this clinic can propose solutions and help you overcome the bad feeling you are going through after the break-up of your relationship. Without a doubt, it is the most appropriate solution to restore balance in your life.

Mensalus is a reference institution, which with more than 35 years of experience, offers you positive resources to overcome this difficult stage, characterized by great sadness, anguish, anxiety and confusion, and can help you learn new ways to relate to your own emotions. It can also provide you with tools to regain your self-esteem and, with it, your happiness.

  • If you want to know more about this center, just click here.