Gender-based violence is one of the scourges still present in today’s society. So far this year at least seven women have lost their lives at the hands of their partners , the first of them a few hours after the beginning of 2017.

Abuse and domestic violence wreak havoc on the person being assaulted, both physically and mentally, whether it be a woman or a man. But violence does not only affect the partners.

When children are involved, they suffer both from the observation of the abuse of their loved ones and, in many cases, from direct or indirect violence applied against them. Some of them are even physically or psychologically assaulted with the purpose of harming the other component of the relationship. What these children are suffering is called vicarious violence .

What does ‘vicar’ mean?

The concept of vicarious refers to the substitution or replacement of one individual by another in the exercise of a function or in the experience of a situation. An easy to understand example can be seen in vicarage learning, in which one learns from observing the acts carried out by others and their consequences.

Understanding the concept, it is understood that vicarious violence is going to be defined as situations in which some type of aggression is going to be carried out on a person or in substitution of another, which would be the true objective , or in a collateral way.

Vicarious violence: what it is and why it takes place

Vicarious violence is a type of domestic violence that includes all those behaviours carried out in a conscious way to generate a damage to another person, being exercised in a secondary way to the main one. Such violence is a form of child abuse that can range from the visualization and presence by the minor of aggressions by one of his or her relatives to another, or the suffering of direct aggressions as a method of causing harm.

In many cases the son or daughter is used in an instrumental way with the aim of harming the real target of the violence , the partner. The individual who commits the abuse takes advantage of the fragility of the minors, violating and undermining their physical or psychological integrity with the aim of psychologically harming their partner, awakening in her suffering, pain and sense of guilt by not being able to defend the persons most loved by the victim.

Vicarious violence or the threat of it is also used as a mechanism of coercion and control towards the adult victim: with the knowledge of what the aggressor is capable of, the spouse or the child is forced to give in to the other’s pretensions and desires and, furthermore, with the fear that the children will be assaulted, the adult victim has fewer options to report it, seek help or do something that puts them at risk.

This type of domestic violence can take many forms, including psychological abuse, deprivation of basic needs, physical abuse and even sexual abuse. In some cases this type of violence can lead to the death of the minor , either in the form of homicide or premeditated murder.

Profile of the aggressor

Although the trigger of the aggressions can be very different according to the case, in many cases behind the vicarious violence there can be found a deep sensation of inferiority and lack of self-worth , which generate in the abuser a frustration that is discharged aggressively through violence on others. As with other forms of domestic violence, the victims are usually men between the ages of 20 and 50, although there are also cases in which the aggressor is a woman.

The majority of the aggressor tends to seek dominance and the exercise of power through the submission of both his partner and the children, feeling an authoritarian figure and enjoying an obedience and control of the situation with which he tries to compensate for his insecurities. Sometimes violent behaviour can be aggravated or triggered during states of drunkenness or alterations of consciousness.

Effects on the child

Suffering from this type of violence will generate a series of physical and psychological effects on the child that will mark the great majority of areas of life in depth, causing a series of serious prejudices in their development.

First of all, one of the most immediate effects can be seen when the abuse takes place on a physical level. The aggressions that the minor may suffer can involve severe injuries that may require hospitalization and may even lead to disability (depending on the areas that are injured) or even death.

On a psychological level, self-esteem and self-concept can be severely damaged. A deterioration in attention and concentration capacity, a drop in academic performance and a high level of demotivation are generally observed. Post-traumatic stress disorder is common, with reminiscences of aggression, avoidance of situations reminiscent of abuse and a high level of physiological activation. Not surprisingly, anxiety or mood disorders such as depression also appear. Fear and anhedonia are frequent symptoms that can even warn the social environment that the child is suffering some kind of abuse. Suicide attempts at some point in the life cycle, including childhood, are not uncommon.

On an emotional level , the acquisition of social skills, the appearance of empathy and self-control problems is greatly hampered . This also favours the appearance in the future of different disorders of a psychotic type or antisocial, aggressive and psychopathic behaviour.

At a social level, these minors tend to develop attitudes of great distrust in their interpersonal relationships, making the emotional bond with third parties more complex. All of this results from the violation and abuse to which they have been subjected, especially aggravated by the fact that the aggressor is a significant and close figure. The fact that there is an emotional bond makes it more complicated for them to report or take other types of actions. It is also possible that the mistreatment visualised or suffered is dissociated from the rest of the experience, maintaining a relatively normal social life outside the home as a compensation mechanism. It is not unusual for overprotective attitudes to be developed with the most significant people in order to avoid them suffering the same suffering as they do.

Finally, the vicarious violence to which they have been subjected can cause the affected minors to acquire the patterns of behaviour they have been able to observe, generating a vicarious learning of the situation in which they can eventually replicate the abuse by being accustomed to it and considering violence in the family and the couple as normal behaviour.

Treatment

The treatment of this phenomenon must be approached from a multidisciplinary perspective, in which social, health, educational, administrative and judicial services work together. To this end, several protocols for action in cases of child abuse in the family environment have been drawn up.

The legislation in force must guarantee the right of the minor who suffers or witnesses abuse to the provision of assistance services that meet the needs derived from the situation of violence, being in both cases the victim of domestic violence and requiring the prevention of new situations that may cause physical or psychological harm. In this aspect, the detection and reporting of cases of abuse is fundamental, which is why different observation protocols have been established in institutions such as hospitals and schools.

On the psychological level, it is necessary to work from the psychological point of view with the victims of aggressions, both with the minors affected and with the adults, regardless of whether they have witnessed or also suffered aggressions. The need to explain the situation will produce a deep frustration that they must be able to express, and it is also necessary to work with the cognitions and emotions caused by the maltreatment.

Collaborating in the processing of the situation suffered, favouring and promoting a realistic self-concept, avoiding behavioural avoidance and eliminating the typical self-culpabilisation of a large number of victims are common therapeutic objectives, which must be undertaken by validating the feelings of the individuals and accepting them unconditionally.

With regard to the abuser, apart from the legal consequences of his or her actions and the preventive measures imposed (such as the restraining order), various rehabilitation therapies have been developed that aim to modify his or her abusive behaviour and improve frustration management, using behaviour modification techniques and other techniques of a cognitive and emotional nature.

Bibliographic references:

  • Deu del Olmo, M.I. (2016). Sons and daughters who are victims of gender violence in the city of Ceuta. Granada: University of Granada. [http://hdl.handle.net/10481/43005]
  • Holt, S.; Buckley, H. & Whelan, S. (2008). The impact of exposure to domestic violence on children and young people. A review of the literature. Child Abuse & Neglect, 32, 798-810.
  • Save The Children (2006). Care for child victims of gender-based violence. Analysis of care for children of women victims of gender violence in the women’s protection system. Madrid: Save the Children Spain.
  • Sepulveda, A. (2006). La violencia de género como causa del maltrato infantil. Cuadernos de Medicina Forense, 12, (43-44), 149-164.
  • Vaccaro, S. (2015). Vicarious violence: The sons and daughters who are victims of violence against their mothers.