Much is said about forgiveness, and the benefits that practicing it can bring to our lives. But rarely do they explain clearly what is the point of asking for forgiveness , or how to learn to do it in a good way, in order to have a better quality of life based on its practice.

In this article we will focus on just that: explaining what it is good to ask for forgiveness and what are the main benefits that doing so properly and in a timely manner brings to our lives.

What’s the point of saying sorry?

At some point we all think we have failed someone, or feel guilty about things we did without thinking about them too much; we might even feel angry with ourselves .

All the feelings that we do not express in a timely manner remain in us as a pending account, which could prevent us from developing adequately in other areas of our daily life. This psychological discomfort could even lead to physical discomfort.

That is why knowing how to ask for forgiveness is so important for our lives; it allows us to discard many of those negative thoughts and feelings that hurt us . But it is important to know how to do it well; it is not enough just to express it verbally, we must look for a way to find that relief when we express the request for forgiveness. When we have achieved this, we can begin to see the changes in our lives.

On the other hand, another use of asking for forgiveness is that improves the quality of our social relations and also benefits third parties ; it is a win-win action in most cases.

How do you apologize assertively?

To apologize in the best way it is important to keep in mind that we don’t have control over other people’s actions , that is, we can never control what others do or feel. We only have control over ourselves, over our actions.

With this in mind, we will be able to devote the greatest amount of our resources to cultivating our tranquility and peace of mind, insofar as we stop placing all our expectations on others and focus on ourselves as well, it becomes easier for us to ask for forgiveness, apart from the fact that we manage to do so in a more natural and calm manner, knowing how to respect the responses and decisions of others.

It is good to understand that the other person may not be in a position to grant us forgiveness at that time. It is a situation that must be understood without letting it bother us , since it is something natural. Everyone has their own times and their own ways of internalizing forgiveness, so in any case feel confident that you were able to express your feelings openly, plus you had the capacity and emotional strength to have asked for his forgiveness.

The 6 benefits of knowing how to apologize

In these lines we will see several answers to the question of what is the use of asking for forgiveness, with its main benefits in daily life.

1. We take a weight off our shoulders

This weight refers to the emotional burden we have on ourselves when we feel the urgent need to ask someone for forgiveness, regardless of what the reason is.

Once we manage to express our motives to that person and ask him/her to forgive us we will feel a sense of relief that replaces the anguish we had previously.

2. It makes us better people

The act of asking for forgiveness ennobles us. The moment we are able to accept that we were wrong and that someone deserves an apology for our past behavior, we are reinforcing our integrity and making a better version of ourselves .

3. It helps us recognize our mistakes

To think that we have to ask someone for forgiveness, we had to go through a previous self-evaluation process , which led us to realize that we had made some mistakes.

People who are able to recognize their own mistakes tend to go further in fulfilling their purposes, and those who do not accept their mistakes are more likely to stumble over them repeatedly.

4. Improves our coexistence with others

Dealing with others becomes more enjoyable when there are no quarrels between people, and a prerequisite for this is to show others that we are capable of recognizing when we are wrong and that we are not ashamed to ask for forgiveness when necessary.

5. Contributes to physical and mental health

Many physical ailments are related to the high levels of distress and stress that people experience when they do not feel good about what they are doing or have done .

Those subjects who do not keep their emotions to themselves, but are fully capable of expressing them openly and assertively, are less likely to see their emotional state compromised, and also protect themselves against various forms of discomfort.

6. Prevent uncomfortable moments in the future

At the moment of asking for forgiveness we are closing a cycle, putting an end to a situation . If we don’t do this, we would be giving rise to uncomfortable situations with one or more people in the future, related to the cycle that we have not been able to close.

Bibliographic references:

  • Luskin, F. Ph.D. (2002). Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness. Harper.
  • Van Oyen, C. Witvilet, T.E. Ludwig and K.L. Vander Lann (2001). Granting Forgiveness or Harboring Grudges: Implications for Emotions, Physiology and Health. Psychological Science. 12:117-123