When GBV becomes subtle: much more than a hit
Gender-based violence is the physical, psychological, economic, sexual and symbolic abuse that is produced towards women simply because they are women. This does not mean that there are no cases of violence by a woman against a man, but because of the seriousness, intensity and frequency of violence against women, this category was constructed to bring to the table the large number of cases of violence and deaths of women that do not stop happening.
In practice, however, we tend to focus mainly on cases of physical abuse or murder linked to this type of violence. We leave out of the map other forms of gender-based violence that are subtle.
How does gender-based violence manifest itself?
Gender-based violence has different faces, we will list and characterise some of them.
Physical Violence
Refers to mistreatment directed at the body , such as hair pulling, pushing, struggling, hitting, burning, death.
Psychological Violence
Includes insults, shouting, manipulation, disqualification, contempt , indifference, pathological jealousy, isolation, threats, harassment, control.
Sexual Violence
It ranges from forcing someone to have sex by force, or situations of harassment, sexual abuse, rape, to trafficking in women.
Economic Violence
Money and goods are used as a means of maintaining control and power .
Symbolic Violence
It consists of the naturalization of the role of women as weak and inferior. We can observe it in phrases, ideas, stereotypes , prejudices that reproduce the inequality between men and women seen as inferiority.
Why do acts of violence stand the test of time?
Surely you have heard of situations (or perhaps it happened to you) where after a violent act has been committed in a couple, after hours, days or weeks, the relationship would seem to continue as if nothing had happened . The violent person apologizes, the violent person forgives and an atmosphere of love, hope and peace reigns.
But as time goes by, strong arguments, tensions, fights and even violence start again. This is due to a repetitive mechanism with which gender-based violence is installed in the form of a circle or cycle.
What are the moments in this violent cycle?
The phases that we can frame in that cycle are the following.
1. Psychological aggressions
Violence does not accompany the relationship from the beginning. Even the first physical abuse does not appear without first presenting features of psychological violence . The ground is prepared for the first blow. It may begin with insults, manipulation, disqualification, pathological jealousy, isolation, control or indirect violence.
2. Stress and physical aggression
When the climate of tension is great and the words and insults are no longer enough, the violent one resorts to the irruption with the body, marking who is in charge , who has the power there. Pushes, pinecones, kicks, burns. The escalation of violence can lead to death.
3. Apologies
There may be repentance in the violent for the act committed or a false repentance for his own benefit . It is at this point that he proceeds with an apology, a justification, a promise not to act like this anymore.
4. Forgiveness and illusion: the honeymoon
For love, for keeping the family “together”, for believing in the promises, for hoping that there will really be changes, or for fear or dependence, among other factors, the woman who has been raped forgives.
5. Apparent peace: the cycle begins again
The climate of love and harmony prevails, little or nothing remains of the violent act. Everything is love, reconciliation, tenderness, illusion. This will be overcome when tension again takes hold of the violent one and chooses once again to unload all of its strength and problems onto that woman, again a victim of gender-based violence.
It will be a while, the apologies will come back, the “love”, until the cycle starts again.
What happens to the children of victims of gender-based violence?
The exposure of children, as witnesses of violence against women, has serious consequences on children, at the emotional, behavioural, developmental, cognitive and bonding levels. Here are some of them.
- Stress, anguish, sadness , anxiety disorders, excess of responsibilities.
- Deficiency in impulse control, irritability, aggressive discharges, oppositionism.
- Fear, helplessness, guilt for not knowing how to help the mother or for not being able to defend her.
- Depression, low self-esteem, frustration, insecurity, emotional instability.
- Learning difficulties, school failure, attention and concentration problems.
- Difficulties in relating to others , in solving social problems, lack of social skills, mistrust, absence of empathy.
- Eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, lack of appetite)
- Sleep disorders .
- Psychosomatic symptoms such as secondary enuresis and encopresis, asthma, allergies
Finally, perceived violence can be internalized and in many cases expressed in the form of antisocial behavior, school misconduct, delinquency, or substance abuse
In short, gender-based violence does not only affect women. It extends to children, who suffer both short- and long-term consequences.