In fact, I may be sinning of pedantry when trying to give an answer to a question that is difficult to answer ; but anyway I want to do it because it is one of the questions that I am asked the most in the consultation. Why do I have such bad luck? What have I done to make everything go so wrong?

Knowing good and bad luck

If this question often torments your mind and you don’t know why you attract bad luck, then you will have the subjective feeling that everything goes wrong for you, or that you have a very bad sense of humor . You don’t stop hitting bottom, everything seems to get worse and you can hardly lift your head, it’s as if you have a bloody magnet for the negative things in life, all the options that life presents you with are either insufficient or become too dark. The stars are aligned against you… what have I done to deserve this? , you exclaim helplessly.

This feeling of being a passive spectator and powerless in the face of life’s relentless misfortunes must be real torture, right? You must feel like a voodoo doll, desperate in the face of the stabs of human existence.

The vice of blaming bad luck

However, believing that you are always unlucky can turn into your worst vice . Trying to convince yourself of this is to look for the ideal justification for not coming out of this indifference towards life, and that, dear readers… can lead to depression, since if everything that happens is the cause of destiny, chance or karma (whatever it is to deceive yourself), what the hell is the point of fighting? It is much more comfortable to resign yourself and do nothing.

You must not despair, deep down you know you have a choice, you know that that blissful feeling of doom that takes hold of you can be partly a product of your own psyche . Consequently, you have the power to modify those thoughts so negative that they eat you up inside.

Changing beliefs to attract success and luck

Success is not achieved with good luck, it is the direct result of constant effort , in fact luck does not exist and if it does it does not depend on us, then we only have our own will to power for what we can transform.

Related article: “Successful and unsuccessful people: 7 differences”

Let’s explore it, let’s try to explain why we think we have bad luck, to give some simple tools to face it.

1. The fantasy of eternal stability

Perhaps when you’ve had a good run you haven’t been fully aware of that unrealistic illusion that this good trend will last forever, something you took for granted. Nothing is eternal (and that’s a physical principle against which we can’t do anything) but our mind tries to create a metaphysical reality where time doesn’t pass and everything remains immovable, as if it were a cartoon where all the characters are always happy.

Indeed, you think the party will never end but suddenly everything ends and you stand there, perplexed and confused.

Solution? I don’t have a magic wand that allows me to solve the problem at once, but since our whole existence is a cyclical dynamic (although the facts are never repeated in the same way) the sensible thing would be to add to our vocabulary the concept of finitude . Life will always be in constant change, good and bad will take turns , even if at certain moments you think everything remains static and permanent.

So I suggest that every time you think “I always get it wrong” or “I’m really unlucky” don’t take those thoughts so literally or give them too much thought.

2. Locus of control

The locus of external control is a widely used term in psychology; it means that when you are faced with problems, you tend to believe that they have little or no relationship to your behavior. Therefore, you attribute the cause of these difficulties to bad luck , with the logical result of experiencing a feeling of helplessness and despair that makes you think “I’m always unlucky, I’m a damn fool!

Opportunely, you forget that you have a choice about the circumstances around you , that destiny is not determined and that you have a lot to do. You have to focus on what is up to you. Realize the relationship between your behavior and the outside world. Take control of your destiny!

3. Selective view of events

When you think that the God of misfortune has taken it out on you, you are reviewing the most unpleasant experiences you have had in your life and discarding to look at the positive experiences, which surely have been many too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that such misfortunes don’t exist but that you are leaving the rest of your experiences in the background .

Solution? Take another point of view .Attention is selective, and you decide where you focus and what you want to focus on. Do the opposite exercise to the one you usually do. Make a list of all those times when you have felt happy. Have a more global and objective vision of your life without complaining so much about the misfortunes you have experienced.

4. The keys

  • You’re forgetting how many times fate has shown you its sweetest face.
  • Not everything is random, there are things that are determined only by you, therefore you have room for manoeuvre.
  • Everything is constantly changing: creation and destruction. What is black today becomes white tomorrow and so on. Never forget that!