Misanthropy, or hatred of all people in general , can come in many forms. However, it always has to do with past experiences; no one is predestined to get along with humanity.

Knowing this is very important because, just as “hatred of everyone” appears in an acquired form through learning and interpreting what is happening to us, it is also possible to unlearn it, to reconcile with others.

And why would a misanthrope or misanthrope want to change? Well, of course not everyone has to want that, but those who have entered this article for the title may at least be curious about the psychological mechanisms that explain this phenomenon and how they can be reversed.

When others are systematically disregarded

There are people who, by default, despise others or simply abhor company . This can make them feel, paradoxically, lonely and misunderstood and, furthermore, notice that this affects them in their professional, student or civil facets in general.

That is why there are probably many who are wondering how to get out of this vicious circle of hate.

The causes

Hate for others can be understood as a form of learned helplessness. This concept serves to designate cases in which one has learned to dissociate what one does with what one obtains in a negative sense, that is, that one has come to assume that, whatever one does, one will not obtain anything good from it.

In this case, that which does not produce any benefits (or which produces more inconveniences and discomforts than pleasant experiences) is social life, in general. From past experiences, it has been assumed that everyone betrays, lies or tries to take advantage of others.

In other words, it is assumed that others have a corrupt morality or that they are incompetent and that this is part of the majority essence of people, and this makes one stop looking for happy and stimulating experiences with others and, in many cases, one tends to live in relative isolation.

How to Stop Hating and Reconcile with Others

There are ways to turn the situation around and stop systematically hating those around us.

In cases of misanthropy based on severe trauma, psychotherapy may well be necessary, but in more moderate cases where it is noted that the relationship with a large number of known people is unusually bad , one may choose to change one’s life philosophy on one’s own.

Some points to start with are as follows:

1. Think about the context of your memories

Imagine the memories that you think have the most influence on your perception of others and analyse them in the context in which they occurred . Was it long ago? Were the others all to blame? Were they really cruel, or does that idea come from the exaggerations that appeared after it happened?

2. Make lists of positive traits

Use your imagination and think of positive characteristics of those you dislike or hate, however strange they may seem to you, but which you think fit reality .

3. Reflect on how you judge others

Stop and think about your way of attributing negative characteristics to others. Do you do it having all the necessary information about them ? Do you take into account the context and social norms that you also follow when you relate to others?

4. Analyze your expectations

What basic characteristics do you think someone should have in order for you to like their company and affection? Are they reasonable, or are they too many and too precise?

5. Think from the point of view of someone good who would like to know you

Imagine that you are a person who meets the basic characteristics that someone should meet (in theory) so that you feel good by their side. Would you be able to recognize it if you acted as you always do when meeting someone new?

6. Get out more and interact with like-minded people

Force yourself to relate more to others, get out of your comfort zone. Set specific social goals for yourself (like going to a dinner party you’ve been invited to) and stick to them, make it a priority. If you start by dealing with people you like regardless of their personality, it’s easier for you to connect with some of them. Later on you can aim to expand your social horizons.

7. Surround yourself with happy people

Look for people who are genuinely cheerful and spend time with them. In this way you will associate the company of others with moments of humor and fun and you will be more eager to repeat the experience, making it harder to assume that you will be hating others forever.